


One Long Night

by Bespokegarbage



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Disordered Eating, Logan has a cat, Logan hides under a bed, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Self-Care, Panic, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, also briefly - Freeform, briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25029676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bespokegarbage/pseuds/Bespokegarbage
Summary: Stress messes up Logan's schedule and he starts feeling overwhelmed and stops taking care of himself. Virgil tries to help.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	One Long Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey please be careful! I was having a lot of feelings today. Marie Is Logan's cat.  
> Let me know If I need to tag other things.  
> tw: disordered eating, self harm, self esteem issues, self hatred, panic

Logan doesn’t know exactly how long he’s been sitting at his desk, but he knows that it’s too long. He can’t stop though, nothing he’s done is good enough. He has to keep going.

He’s hungry now, it’s gnawing at his stomach. He tries to remember the last time he ate and can’t. His attention is caught by the blank document on his computer screen. This is the third time he’s had to restart the report and can’t afford to take a break.

His hunger has left and all that’s left is weakness. He doesn’t have any energy left. Anxiety and hunger are mixing sickeningly in his stomach. He feels sick.

Logan is yanking at his hair, pulling harder and harder. It hurts, but it makes him focus. His forehead is pressed against the desk, and his glasses are pressing painfully into his face but the desk is refreshingly cool under his head and he desperately wants to sleep. He has to keep going, he can’t let the others know how useless he is.

Marie is pawing anxiously at Logan splayed out across his desk. His eyes are unfocused, staring at the wall. Tears leak slowly out of his eyes and drip down his face, falling with a soft plop on the desk. In his peripheral vision he can see the stack of papers he hasn’t gotten around to working on yet. Slowly lifting his body, he scratches Marie behind the ears, and she meows. His head feels foggy, like he’s very far away. He gets back to work.

Logan is sure there is someone in the room with him. He turns around but there’s no one there except Marie scratching at the door to go out. Shakily he stumbles over to the door and lets her creep into the quiet hallway. The door hits something as it opens, there are bowls and plates piled outside his door. Leaning on the doorway for support he bends down to look at the pile of various snack foods. He can see contributions from everyone, granola bars from Virgil, cookies from Patton, some sort of sludge from Remus, juice boxes from Janus and vegetables from Roman. Tears well up in his eyes and he stands up. There is black eating at the corner of his vision, and for a brief, panic-inducing moment he can’t see. He slams the door closed, why does he deserve their kindness when he can’t even do his job. It’s not good enough, it’s never good enough.

The buzzing in his ears is loud enough that he can’t hear people calling his name. He does feel it when someone puts a hand on the back of his neck. Suddenly his senses snap into focus. He jumps, knocking over his chair. He just wants to get away from them, they can’t be here. He runs and hides under his bed like a child trying to hide. He wiggles around until his back is pressed against the wall and he peers out at the feet still standing by his desk. They turn slowly then walk towards the bed. Logan stops breathing. Tears start falling onto his glasses and cheeks, he’s trembling. The feet stop a few feet away from the bed. Logan can see the person kneel, then sit on the ground.

“Logan?” The voice sounds concerned. Logan doesn’t make a noise, covering his mouth with a shaking hand.  
They sit in silence for a moment.  
“I’m going to go wait outside the door Logan. I’d appreciate it if you’d come talk to me once you’ve calmed down” The person waits a moment, then stands and walks to the door. He can hear the door open, then shut. He exhales violently and pants a little. He wiggles his way out from under the bed, keeping an eye on the door at all times. Scrambling onto his bed, he wraps the weighted blanket that Virgil had left in his room around his shoulders. He presses up against the wall and clutches his stuffed tarantula to his chest. 

He feels himself relax, but the thought of seeing someone made him tense warily. So, he stays squished against the wall, staring like a hawk at the door. 

Sometime later, his rational brain reasserts itself and he slowly makes his way over to the door. Opening it, he can see that Virgil has shifted the pile of food over so he can lean against the doorframe. Virgil is asleep and Logan almost closes the door again when Virgil wakes up. 

“Hey Lo,” Virgil looks up at Logan’s face, at the deep bruises under his eyes and his heart breaks a little. “Why don’t we go sit on your bed, the floor isn’t all that comfortable”  
Logan chews his lip, then nods. They make their way over to the bed and Virgil notices how shaky Logan still is. Virgil decides that this is not the time to have an extensive conversation.  
“Lo, I’m tired. Would you mind taking a nap with me?” Logan looks hesitant, but nods. 

“Would you like to take off your tie, or would you like me to do it?”  
“Can you?” Logan asks timidly.  
Virgil slowly reaches out to undo Logan’s tie, telegraphing his motions carefully. Then, he grabs the discarded blanket from the bed and wraps it around Logan. 

“Which side do you want to sleep on?” Virgil asks. Logan gestures to the side closest to the wall. 

“Last question, do you want to cuddle, or do you want minimal physical contact?” Logan looks at his hands for a moment.  
“Cuddle” He says finally.  
Virgil pulls back the duvet and climbs underneath it, gesturing for Logan to follow suit. Logan curls up under the blanket. Virgil moves closer to Logan and wraps his arms around him. Logan nuzzles into Virgil’s sweater. Logan puts his arm around Virgil, squeezing tightly. Virgil starts humming a lullaby and gently stroking Logan’s back. Logan is lulled to sleep by Virgil’s singing and his steady heartbeat under Logan’s cheek. 

Virgil wakes up first. He starts stretching, but then remembers the exhausted side cuddled against his chest. It was too late though, and Logan struggles his way back to consciousness.

“Sorry Lo, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”  
Logan mumbles something incomprehensible against Virgil’s chest.  
“You’re going to have to speak up sunshine” Virgil smiles at him.  
“’m Sorry”  
“For what?” Virgil furrows his brow.  
“I made you worry about me and I couldn’t get my work done” Logan shrugs “I didn’t want to disappoint you”  
Virgil is dumbstruck for a moment. He pulls Logan closer to his chest, resting his chin on the top of Logan’s head.  
“Logan I…” Virgil hums “I’m not disappointed in you, sunshine. None of us are.”  
“But I can’t do anything, I’m useless” Virgil’s jaw drops, and he frowns.  
“I’m sorry that I ever made you think that you are useless”  
“You didn’t do anything,” Logan looks panicked “I’m just not worth all this trouble”  
“Sunshine. You are so worth it. I’ll keep telling you as many times as you need” Virgil kisses Logan’s forehead. They lay in silence for a few moments.  
“Which would you like first: Water or food?” Virgil asks.  
“Water I think”  
Virgil starts untangling their limbs and extricating himself from the bed. He heads over to the bathroom to grab a glass of water and when he gets back, Logan is asleep on the bed. Placing the glass on the bedside table he climbs into bed and wraps his arms around Logan.

**Author's Note:**

> This may only be one chapter, Im not sure if I should write more of this, let me know what you think


End file.
